My New Year Resolution

I hate when girls ask me out. For some reason it becomes like a JEE problem where I am not sure of the solution and also have to solve it within a short span.

It was New Year eve and we (I and She) had planned for a movie. She then tells me about a DJ party that apparently is very exciting and lot of fun. And then she explains me how economical it would be if we take a couple entry. I knew where it was going but I waited for her to strike the hammer. She did. She asked me if I would like to come along with her. I was just about to say no, but then I remembered that a few days ago I had turned down a similar offer, which was also very exciting and the pretty lady was really disappointed. Few classified me as a moron and rest as jerk. Yes, only a moron or a jerk like me would refuse to such pretty ladies. At least no IITian would. I was disgraced of not being a IITian any more by a close friend. My pride was at stake and I desperately wanted to earn the honor back, so I decided to suck it up whatever it takes. I said yes, Why not, it’s a great idea.

We met at the movie theater. It was some stupid Hindi movie and none of us were interested in actually watching it. She started talking. By the end of the movie I knew all her friend’s names, their boyfriend’s names, their birth dates, everything she cooked on Friday Saturday and Sunday. Yes, I am a fast learner.
I am a lazy bump. I prefer to stay in my den. I hardly knew any of the roads or crossings. All I knew was the way to Forum and nearest liquor stores. She guided me all the way to the venue. The party had already started. A swimming pool was converted into a dancing floor. The ambience was really fantabulous. I was excited. Then I saw guys and girls standing close to each other and dancing. My legs started trembling. I was scared and really not comfortable. She introduced me to all her friends. Some of them were really beautiful and all of them had a boyfriend to confirm that. She then invited me to dance. I had no escape. I saw everyone dancing around me so even I started jumping. I am terrible when it comes to dancing, especially if I am dancing with a girl. I realized it very soon. If it is all guys, then I can do my Bhangra stuff, but bhangra with girls, and that too on a fast disco number… No, it just doesn’t go. It’s so weird. All the time I was thinking why the hell he doesn’t play some Punjabi song. At last, he played one song that I knew. It’s called “Man Madarasa”. If you belong to IIT Madras then you would definitely know the significance of that. I danced very passionately (as this was my only chance to prove myself) just like a south Indian hero, but this time she had no clue about that song. Embarrassed is the right word here.

I just wanted to get off the dance floor. We broke for dinner. I felt relaxed, and was happy to know that dancing is all over. Apparently her appetite for dancing was not over yet and even the stupid DJ didn’t stop playing those dance numbers. I noticed that she was holding some poly-bag and a purse. I offered her to take care of that so that she can dance freely along with her friends. She requested me to dance but I insisted to take care of her belongings. And there I stood like a fool, holding a ladies purse, people passing by me, staring. This was even more embarrassing. I looked at my watch. Usually the time flies, but today it was crawling. Finally the party ended. We all reached home safely. I finished all the whisky that was left and took this resolution for the New Year…

“If any girl asks me out… my answer would be … NO.”