What is Death?

It makes me wonder what happens to a man after Death!!!!

They say, all matter can be divided into atoms. Atoms can be further sub-divided into electrons, protons and so many things.

Yet, I always wonder why I can move and a piece of Iron can’t. Ultimately, we all are made of electrons and protons only.
What makes me think, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry and why can’t the piece of Iron feel what we humans or animals can feel.

Is it the magical combination of the molecules that differentiates living and non living things? If it is, then will the day come when man would break into that magical formula? Will he be able to make a piece of iron talk, cry, and laugh just as I do? Will he become God?

And one fine day I died. Just Like that.
Electrons still revolve around the protons in my body, like they do in the piece of Iron. I still have the molecules with magical combination inside me that made me cry and suffer all these days. But I don’t move now. I don’t feel cold. I don’t feel hunger.
I see my body burning, but I can not feel the heat I felt before.
I lie still… Just Like the piece of Iron.

Soul is Energy

Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed, and so is the Soul.

Lord Krishana has explained the existence of soul in Gita.

As said in the Svetäsvatara Upanishad (5.9) :

बालाग्रशतभागस्य शतधा कल्पितस्य च |
भागो जीवः स विज्ञेयः स चानान्त्यायकाल्पते ||

Which means :
When the upper point of a hair is divided into one hundred parts and again each of such parts is further divided into one hundred parts, each such part is the measurement of the dimension of the soul.”

In modern science that would be of the order of sub-atomic size.

Soul is nothing but energy. It is the energy that keeps us moving. It is the energy by virtue of which we can feel the air, the water, the touch of a body, warmth of the sun, coldness of the moon.
This symptom of the soul’s presence is perceived as individual consciousness.

And when this soul is gone, there is no energy to move, the consciousness of the body is no more. The body can not move, It can not hear, It can not feel.
And this is Death.

Lord Krishna has also said that soul can not be destroyed by any means. It travels from one body to another, without getting older. When it leaves a body, the person is dead and when it attains a different body, a new child is born.
The soul of a human is same as that of an animal or that of a tree or any other living body, let it be the smallest insect on the earth or the fishes in the water.

An analogy can be drawn with a law of modern science – 1st law of thermodynamics.
“Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed, but can be transformed from one form to another.”.

I wonder if we could ever prove this scientifically…

Soul is energy.

It can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be transformed from one form to other. And when this soul is gone, there is no energy to move, the consciousness of the body is no more. The body can not move, It can not hear, It can not feel — And this is Death.

But why does a man die?
Is it inevitable?
Why does the soul leave the body?
Who decides that it is the time for soul to leave a body, and that now is the appropriate time to attain a different body?
Does soul makes this decision?
Can a soul think?
Is there some one who commands the soul?

Soul travels just like any other form of energy. Let it be heat, wind or electricity. Energy always tends to flow from a high potential to low potential.

Every living body can be imagined to exist at a definite energy potential. This potential is dependent on many factors. The value of this potential increases with time. Thus, soul always tries to escape from one body to attain another body with lower potential. However, there is a threshold. A soul can leave only when this barrier is crossed and it tries to attain a body with minimum energy potential. And hence, it always attains the body of a new born.

Since this energy potential is dependent on many factors, some die when they are old and some die when they are young. Some die of natural cause and some die because of disease. Some die on roads and some in wars. Some people kill themselves and some are killed. The rate of change of this energy potential is always positive and hence death is inevitable.

Transformation of energy from one form to another is necessary. This phenomenon makes electricity, quenches thirst and is responsible for functioning of this world. Similarly the soul should travel from one body to other for smooth functioning. This travel of soul from one body to other is just a small part of the big machine that governs this universe.

Hence there is no need to mourn over a dead body, because a new body is born. The soul still lives as it did before.

Its You

I am insomniac, feeling restless,
loosing appetite, have become speechless,
struck by Alzheimer’s, I feel only pain,
burning deep and deeper, I feel choked,
I am schizophrenic, dubbed demented,
my symptoms are suicidal..
I am dead, but still it beats,
Its an incorrigible disease,
and it is You…


ये मस्ती क्या कर गये, छोड गये सब आप
दुिनयादारी छोड के, होता नहीं मिलाप

या मदिरा नाइ है, जो पी कर हम बौराय
मुक्ती की ही प्यास है जो छिन छिन बढती जाय

अपने भीतर सब मिलत, क्यो सब जग ढूढत जाय
आॅंखी अपनी मूॅंद कर ढूंढो सब मिल जाय

पग पग पछेले जात हूॅं, पर हर पग राह बढाय
ज्यौ चिकया फस जात है, पछेले भीर चिल जात

लाठी तेरी क्या गयी, जैसे भैंसन की खाल
भय भीतर का मेरे बन गया मेरी ढाल

कंठन की माला मेरी, देती कछु नहीं ग्यान
राम नाम के वस्त्र मेरे करते नहीं महान

अब केवल एकिह आस है
हर आस का नास होइ जाय

ज्यो गन्ना कोल्हू  पिसाई, जम के गुड बन जाय
बिन तप करे न कछु मिलही, जो मिल माटी मिल जाय

The road to paradise goes through hell

I Quit,
and hence I do not fit
Its not fuel[1] in my veins,
the pain is when these eyes rains
What I seek lies inside me,
let the curtains drop,
and we can see
With every step I take backward,
I move a little forward
I rush to the origin,
to reach till the end
Your guns are my strength,
and my fear is my friend
The rings[2] do not power me,
and the chains[3] do not guard me
I ride the wings of my dreams,
and I dream to crush them all
I quit the road,
and then I fell
but my friend,
The road to paradise goes through hell.

My New Year Resolution

I hate when girls ask me out. For some reason it becomes like a JEE problem where I am not sure of the solution and also have to solve it within a short span.

It was New Year eve and we (I and She) had planned for a movie. She then tells me about a DJ party that apparently is very exciting and lot of fun. And then she explains me how economical it would be if we take a couple entry. I knew where it was going but I waited for her to strike the hammer. She did. She asked me if I would like to come along with her. I was just about to say no, but then I remembered that a few days ago I had turned down a similar offer, which was also very exciting and the pretty lady was really disappointed. Few classified me as a moron and rest as jerk. Yes, only a moron or a jerk like me would refuse to such pretty ladies. At least no IITian would. I was disgraced of not being a IITian any more by a close friend. My pride was at stake and I desperately wanted to earn the honor back, so I decided to suck it up whatever it takes. I said yes, Why not, it’s a great idea.

We met at the movie theater. It was some stupid Hindi movie and none of us were interested in actually watching it. She started talking. By the end of the movie I knew all her friend’s names, their boyfriend’s names, their birth dates, everything she cooked on Friday Saturday and Sunday. Yes, I am a fast learner.
I am a lazy bump. I prefer to stay in my den. I hardly knew any of the roads or crossings. All I knew was the way to Forum and nearest liquor stores. She guided me all the way to the venue. The party had already started. A swimming pool was converted into a dancing floor. The ambience was really fantabulous. I was excited. Then I saw guys and girls standing close to each other and dancing. My legs started trembling. I was scared and really not comfortable. She introduced me to all her friends. Some of them were really beautiful and all of them had a boyfriend to confirm that. She then invited me to dance. I had no escape. I saw everyone dancing around me so even I started jumping. I am terrible when it comes to dancing, especially if I am dancing with a girl. I realized it very soon. If it is all guys, then I can do my Bhangra stuff, but bhangra with girls, and that too on a fast disco number… No, it just doesn’t go. It’s so weird. All the time I was thinking why the hell he doesn’t play some Punjabi song. At last, he played one song that I knew. It’s called “Man Madarasa”. If you belong to IIT Madras then you would definitely know the significance of that. I danced very passionately (as this was my only chance to prove myself) just like a south Indian hero, but this time she had no clue about that song. Embarrassed is the right word here.

I just wanted to get off the dance floor. We broke for dinner. I felt relaxed, and was happy to know that dancing is all over. Apparently her appetite for dancing was not over yet and even the stupid DJ didn’t stop playing those dance numbers. I noticed that she was holding some poly-bag and a purse. I offered her to take care of that so that she can dance freely along with her friends. She requested me to dance but I insisted to take care of her belongings. And there I stood like a fool, holding a ladies purse, people passing by me, staring. This was even more embarrassing. I looked at my watch. Usually the time flies, but today it was crawling. Finally the party ended. We all reached home safely. I finished all the whisky that was left and took this resolution for the New Year…

“If any girl asks me out… my answer would be … NO.”

The Rock Fan

“Rakesh, do you know there is a rock band performing this week end in the city.”
“Is it? But why does it bother you? You never liked that loud music.. didn’t you?”
“Yes, I have always hated it since our college. But I think you must talk to your father regarding this. I think he is planning to go for the show.”
“C’mon Seema, why are you always so suspicious about him. He is my father.”
“Yes honey, he is my father too and that is why I am concerned about him. I saw him looking at the ad in the newspaper. I could tell by the way he was looking at that stupid ad that he is planning to go for the show.”
“Oh c’mon honey, why do you have to make a fuss of every thing.”
“Thats the problem with you guys. You never listen. You know he has always wanted to go for the show and this time its in the city. Why can’t he do what other people of his age do. These things suit you when you are in college, not when you are old. He can hardly walk by himself. Why can’t he just take care of Rohit and Mini. They like playing with their grandpa.”
“Ok darling, I’ll talk to him. Why don’t you buy him some more CDs on your way back, and try to convince him for not going there.”
“More CDs !! he has more CDs than I have saris in my closet. And you know how much the ticket to that show costs? Its 5 grands. Do you think it is wise to spend so much amount on a stupid rock show.”
“Ok Ok honey, I am getting late to work. I’ll talk to him in the evening.”.

Rakesh left for work, and Seema too left after dropping the kids at school.
Narayan was left all alone at home. He would spent his day by watching the repeat telecasts of some daily soaps or by listening to his rock music collection. This has been his routine for past ten years after retiring from work. Some times he would attend some yoga classes or laughing clubs. But none of these pleased him.

Today was a different day for him. His favorite rock band was performing in the city and he has decided to go for the show. He slowly got up from his comfort chair, and with his stick walked towards his room. He locked the room from inside so that no one could see him. He then sat on the floor, and bent slightly to look under his cot. He saw a old trunk with thick layer of dust on it. It has not been opened for many years. He stretched his arm to pull the trunk. He reached his pocket for his key and opened the trunk. There lied his favorite rock band’s T-Shirt which he had won while head banging for his college band. He blushed as the memories of his college festivals rushed to his mind.
Narayan had this passion for rock music. The loud music was soothing to his ears.He had this secret desire to attend one live rock show ever since he was in college. The tickets were always costly and he never earned so much. As he earned more, his expenses too grew exponentially.
He bought the tickets from the savings he made from the pocket money he used to get from Rakesh. He took his T-Shirt in his hands and walked towards the bathroom. He washed it and ironed it too to prepare for the big occasion.
The night was even more restless for him. He could not stop dreaming about tomorrows show. He waited impatiently for the sun to raise. Even the pills failed tonight. Rakesh and Seema have dinner outside on Saturdays. They take Rohit and Mini also along with them. So tomorrow was a perfect day for him. He could slip out and come back before they come.

The next day he waited for Rakesh and Seema to go for the party. The venue was near so he preferred to walk. Narayan took his walking cane and left the room. He did’t bother to leave a note for his son. On his walk Narayan couldn’t stop thinking of how the show would be.
“I’ll tell Rakesh, how awesome the show was. I’ll tell him what he missed” Narayan said to himself.
“But he would get mad at me for going alone, and he would never understand my passion for rock music. My friend would be really excited to hear about my today’s experience. They know this has been my life long dream. I wish they were here and I could tell them how the show was. I cannot tell Rakesh and Seema about this. I guess I can only write it for myself so that I could read it again and again whenever I am alone.”
Narayan was thinking of all this while walking. No one has ever understood his passion and his dream of life, not even his son, not even his wife. As he reached at the gate of the auditorium, he saw two huge guards frisking everyone. He was a bit scared looking at those two huge men but he knew such shows always need this kind of security. He took a pause for a second and gathered the courage to walk towards the gate. One of the guards stared at him from top to bottom and back to the top and smiled looking at his partner. He let him go without frisking.
As he entered the auditorium, the scene was magnificent. A series of huge loud speakers hanging from steel trusses. Laser lights every where. The stage was ready with all the gadgets and musical instruments. The show was about to start in few minutes so he walked towards the first row. He stood there and stared at the stage. He knew that his dream of life is going to be fulfilled. He felt so complete. A sense of satisfaction brought tears in his eyes. He could die happily now, with no feel of regret or emptiness.
The show started and they played his favorite song. He could not have wished for anything else. He felt like head banging once more. That soothing music made his legs moving and he started to dance.
There was a group of college guys who were head banging next to him. They looked at him and one of the guys spoke..
“Look out friends.. the party has some old people also. Uncle, I think you are at the wrong place. This isn’t the place where you’ll find God.” and they started laughing loudly making fun of this old man.
“You don’t know son, what I am capable of.” Narayan said to himself and started head banging with the guys.
The young guy was smoking a joint and he offered it to the Old man.
“What is this?” asked Narayan.
“Uncle, if you are here then you must be knowing what this is. Have a puff and you will be in heavens soon.”
“Is it marijuana?”
“Looks like the Old man is smarter than we thought. You definitely must have smoked pots in your college. Didn’t you. C’mon uncle have a puff and you’ll be flying soon. It takes you closer to the God and it will make you enjoy the music even better. Forget what your life is all about, forget all your pains and sins, forgive all and take this. It’ll make you happier than ever before, and then may be we can have fun together.”
“No, I guess I am OK like this.” said Narayan.
“Oh uncle, don’t be like a boy. Look at that man, you think he is here but he is not, because right now he is sailing away with that music. He feels every pluck of the guitar and every beat of the drum. You think he remembers all those lyrics. They are flowing out of his mind.” And he smiled at the Old man.
Narayan has smoked weed in his college and he knew what would that do to him. He would definitely feel all that, may be much more than that. This rock show was his dream and he wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. So he decided to take just two puffs. That was enough for him and by the time the band played the next song he was on a high.

He was flying. He stood still, yet moving. He said nothing but heard everything. He stared at one of the flashy laser light. Light flashed into his eyes and took him to his childhood days. He saw himself. He saw his friend Ramu. He saw himself chased by the keeper of mango gardens. He saw himself beaten up by his father for not going to school and playing with Ramu.

Another light flashed and he saw himself with his college mates. He saw how he got drunk for the first time. He saw how he smoked his first cigarette and coughed, but smoked again until his lungs got used to it. He saw his friend rolling his first joint and he felt exactly the same as he felt then. He saw himself and his friends dancing madly in the college festival. He saw himself chasing after that pretty girl just to ask her name, and he never met her again.

Another light flashed, he was holding his son Rakesh in his arms, his wife standing next to him. This was probably the happiest moment of his life. He saw his son walking, falling of the cycle, fighting. He saw how Shakuntala cried over his shoulder when Rakesh had to leave for the college. He felt sad, yet happy when Rakesh decided to marry Seema. He cried when Shakuntala left him all alone. He wished for his death. But nothing felt like when he held his grandson in his arms. When he played with him and told him stories that he was told by his grandfather when he was of his age. He had gone through many good and bad moments in his life.

All of a sudden a very bright light flashed in his eyes and he was in a different world now. Everything just disappeared. No colors around him, everything white. He couldn’t even open his eyes. The music had stopped. He heard nothing. He stopped moving. He felt his arms and legs disappear. He felt weightlessness. He had never felt like this before. He looked at himself. He wasn’t old anymore. He wasn’t even young. He was never like this. He turned back to see where he was coming from, and saw his body lying on the floor surrounded by lots of people. He stared at it for a while, turned and walked towards the light.

Requiem of your dreams

Enjoy the every bit of Pain …
as this is all you have been spared of..
Your life has been sucked..
and all u are left with, is this burden to carry on..
until death sets you free …

Celebrate the requiem of your dreams..
and wait for what destiny stores for you..
as there is no worse suffering, than what u feel now..
and there lies a beautiful tomorrow ahead..

Oh Lord … Set me Free..

I stand in the aisles of dream world,
am afraid to walk down the road..
aware of what lies ahead..
and hesitant to relinquish my past..
engulfed by this illusion..
I fear my failure..
the illusion of this materialistic world,
Kingdoms, Treasure, Esteem, Love..
I lure for nothing..
All I desire for is Nirvana…

O almighty, the creator of all,
I consign my soul to you..
Oh supreme, extricate me from these worldly pains,
Oh Lord … Set me Free..

I Wish..

I stand alone, looking at the sky..
questions haunt me, don’t know the reason why??
searching for a space where I could lie..
I wish.. I could cry..

I run, your shadow chases me..
I turn around, but I cant see..
Your breath is gripping me..
I wish.. I could fly..

I look in her eyes, and they tell me..
that its not love they have for me..
her smile kills me, when I ask her the reason for lies,
and now I wish.. I could die..